Whatever.

It has been 3 weeks since you left me..
I'm a new person..
I no longer miss you..

Please get that into your head..
You are the one who chose to leave me..
During the times I needed you most you brushed me away..

Many nights I tried to talk to you about us..
But we were never a priority in your eyes..

I know you have someone else in your life..
And probably many more I never did know about..
People tell me about them all the time..

Let me just say that I loved you with my whole heart..
And was prepared to give you even my soul..
Whenever you asked me to change something about me..
I changed it as fast as I could..
I gave in to you so many times I forgot how to be myself..

Yet this is NOT the saddest part of my being with you..
I think the saddest part IS that I gave you 5 years of my Life..

And when you left me..
I was crying each and every night to sleep..
Did you know?
Did you care?
Did you DO anything??

So please let me go..
Stop calling me or SMS-ing me.
Stop asking me to make decisions that concern you.

Our story has ended..
I just want to get on with the rest of my Life..

- 1:55am 12 June 2004 -

Bad Feelings

Today when I opened my inbox..
I found a message from my dad..

(Even if he's not away overseas..
And though we live under the same roof..
It's normal for us to use e-mail to communicate..
Because we don't Talk..)

Well..
He's flying off on June 27th and will only be home on July 6th.

I don't know why I have such a bad feeling.

I have such a bad feeling..
That it makes me want to delay my own flight out to Brisbane..

The fact that he'll be on US soil over the 4th of July has me kinda worried sick..

What way to end an otherwise happy day..

*sigh*

- 12:22am 8 June 2004 -

My Dear Hammies

I can tell you all these face to face..
But I wonder how much you will understand..

I remember the day I brought the first of your kind home to be my companions..
I remember the excitement only a 13 year old can feel..
Bringin a precious new pet home..

This is a tribute to all of you for being in my life..
For being around responding to my touch and my love..
For trusting me completely with your lives..
Loving me back in your own gentle ways :)

I'll miss you..
I'm sorry I can't go on looking after you..
I wish I could bring you along with me..
And hold you close when I'm lonely like I've always been doing..

I hope from now your lives will brighten someone else's..
And that somehow you'll remember me far away..

Here's to all the hamsters I've loved before..

Cutie
Cookie
Biscuit
Sandwich
Spicy
Wafer
Donut
Chocolate
Candy
Roche
Shandy
Hopeless Watermelon
Useless Chicken Chop
Rhumba
Cheesecake
Mushroom
C4$h3w
Orange
Oreo
Milo
Soda
Mac
Chip
Pepper
Sugar
Cherry

- 4:43am 1 June 2004 -